Overload
by Skylark Evanson
Summary: Seeing all of Kevin's memories, Gwen didn't know she'd get an overload of his whole life story. Now she's determined to see it all.


**A/N: this is from that moment of 'Vendetta'. It was inspired a while ago, but I just remembered it and came up with a name while I was on my cruise. There was that one moment where Gwen was searching through Kevin's memories for anything about the key. Here's what I got out of that. Note that I am not specifically quoting these. Working from what I recall of it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing at all.**

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_**Overload**_

I knew the second that connection hit that I was going to be in a whirlwind of hurt. Kevin was letting into my powers, easily giving in. He knew he needed this. This was part of his father, part of his past. He was letting me inside his mind. He was letting me surge through his memories for a specific one. Our connection was strong as his eyes went pink as mine always did, but I missed the obsidian orbs that were always there, a dark playful twinkle always hiding there. But they were gone, the strong color of my mana replacing them.

Without doing anything, Kevin's memories dragged me through so many moments, planting them in my mind, making me watch every single one on fast-forward, speeding faster than my boyfriend in his car. Words were jumbled and confusing, each scene meaning nothing more to me than one of Ben's smoothies, but each must've kept Kevin sane through the worst of times. These had to be important to him.

Then I was stuck on one, each before it forgotten. His mother crouched down to the floor on her knees. I had never seen her before. Long dark hair and a somewhat Asian face. Kind brown eyes, lighter than her son's, were filled with glassy tears. Her bangs clung to her forehead, a straight black line against her pale skin. She seemed to be in her late twenties at the most. "Kevin, listen to me, alright?" Mrs. Levin's voice was so soft and gentle but scared.

There was a boy about seven years of age that she was looking directly in the eye. He was wary and by the way his face was so stony, I could tell it was Kevin. His hair was a bit longer than it was now, the ends of the ebony strands touching his shirt and going a little past his shoulder blades. He had a black t-shirt on and some baggy jeans, obviously too big for him. "I am, Mama." His voice sounded so tiny and I could've sworn his voice had caught in his throat right there. "Why was the Plumber here? Who's Magister Tennyson?"

They stood in what sounded like a New York apartment. One dingy couch laid in the middle of the room and it was cold. There was an ambulance blaring its silence outside and there was the screams of people below. A bad neighbor hood by the glimpse that I got.

"Kevin," her voice was shattered now. "Kevin, Daddy-" She had to break off and grab her son, clutching him to her chest. "Kevin, Daddy's not coming home." Mrs. Levin held the little boy so tightly. "I'm sorry, but he's not coming back anymore." Tears spilled over her eyes, cascading down her cheeks in waterfalls.

I caught my first glimpse of the boy's face and it wasn't as I had expected. He wasn't in any shock. He didn't even seem hurt by it. Kevin was as calm as ever. I knew he'd had a hard life, but this wasn't what I'd expected. He held his mother as if she were the child and he was there to comfort her. He hugged her, his arms locking behind her neck and she cried into his shoulder. "It's okay." He was so strong even through that. "It's okay, Mama."

They hung there for a moment, lost in the loss of a loved one. Then his mother pulled away. "Sweetie, are you going to be alright?" Mrs. Levin asked.

"Daddy told me I couldn't cry." Kevin's voice was on the verge of collapsing into his feelings of rage and despair. I could feel it almost as clearly as I could sense those same emotions now as he talked about his father. "He told me I had to be good."

The woman's dark eyes flicked across the room at a picture frame. One simple picture frame. A man and a little boy. The boy was clearly Kevin. He looked only a year younger.

That. That was the key.

I had to warp myself back out of the sounds, this time launching further into his memories to get out, to get to the end of the spectrum and-

My legs gave out from under me and I crumpled to the ground, my body feeling burned with bruises and scars of the past. There was solid concrete beneath me and the reek of burning metal was nearby. Back. Back to the future, that was exactly it.

But each of those memories I had passed through had become part of me, now programmed into my brain through our connection. I always knew Kevin and I were strong together. I just didn't know it would happen like that, almost naturally. I guess it was just us. Maybe it was destiny. Maybe it was just us being such good friends. I doubted the latter.

I felt him by my side in less than a moment, on his knees. His hand was on my shoulder. I felt the warmth flooding and spreading through my skin where his touch was. "Gwen, you okay?" He sounded truly worried, no longer vicious as he had been with Ragnarok around. His eyes were haunted, as if he had just relived the same moment I did.

"Couldn't be better. I know where the key is."

When Kevin was walking away, later that night, I knew I had to learn more. This wasn't optional. I had to know. I had to see what had driven him to be this guy that I had fallen in love with. I had to dive into those memories. I had to see.

So I curled up in my room early, ready to surge through this. These were his nightmares. These were his cherished memories. These were parts of Kevin I would never see any other way. I had to know.

I lay there in meditation for a few seconds before I was lifted off my bed, my eyes glowing pink in the mirror across from my bed. I shut them and was carried into those images of Kevin, deeper and deeper. This was an overload of memories for me to live in for only a night. I could space it out through more days, but I wanted to learn it all _now_.

I ran through that same memory with the key in it, taking in the deeper details. More sounds off the New York streets, the scent of burning and terrible air fresheners trying to cover it up.

Skimming only an hour or two further through the memories, I found one where Kevin was laying on his stomach in his bed. Sobs were racking him, he shook in his bed and tears traced his cheeks, falling fast and hard. His small body was shivering and he was crying.

That was the first time I'd ever seen Kevin show any kinds of signs of weakness. And he was still hiding it from the world. No one would ever see him cry.

I dropped into one after the one I was in earlier. The setting was what seemed like a joyous place, one where everyone was supposed to be happy. Kevin looked only a few months older, his raven colored hair longer, his height stretched out by an inch or two. He was clad in a black suit that was seemingly made of silk. Eyes were downcast and dark and tired. His mother was standing there, looking grave as ever. A white dress clung to her petite frame as her sunken face was staring down at her son. "I know this is going to be hard, but please-"

"I don't like 'im." Kevin was dead serious. His eyes were dark and cold, icy. Folded across his chest were his ghostly pale arms. Face ashen, he looked her straight in the eye and said, "I don't like the guy. Neither would Dad."

"Kevin, don't bring your father into this." The woman's eyes were pleading, but her voice had taken on a stern tone. "I'm only doing this for you. I'm doing this for us, Kevin. I can't take care of you on my own, but-"

His voice was severe when he said, "I can take care of things myself. I can drop out of school and go work as the paperboy, Ma. We'll be fine. I can help just as good as he can!"

"Baby," she murmured as she knelt down to his level. "Baby, you're too little. You're my only hope in this world. I'm only doing this for you. If I had a choice, I'd take you away to a small town somewhere and hide you away from him, but I can't, Kevin, I just can't. You know this is what it has to be." She pulled him into a tight hug. "Please behave for me. It's what your father would've wanted. He would've wanted this for you. A better life."

He nodded slowly and sighed. Kevin's eyes closed in surrender. "Alright."

The second she was gone, he burned the entire bookcase behind him in anger with the electricity that flowed freely from his fingertips. He watched the flames devour it and engulf the pages of writing. Kevin's face was twisted in an unrecognizable rage. "Only for Dad." His lips were turned in a scowl. "Because you don't know what you're doing to me by marrying this guy."

I never knew what had gone down with Kevin and his stepfather. I only knew that he had a stepfather. I never met him. I never saw him. I never heard of him except for when Kevin couldn't go home for a night and sleep in his own room without striking up a fight. He didn't want to pull his mom into it, so he stayed away from home as much as he could. It already brought me to near tears to think how awful some nights back in New York could be.

Then I kept going through his memories, running only a little further along. A dark shadowy form was standing over a smaller one. There was a strike lashed out from the larger and a small familiar whimper escaped the tiny shadow. Other than that, it made no noises or sounds. I could tell that Kevin was still holding it in, doing his "I have no fears. I will never be broken" thing again. But being beaten? He was being kicked. He was lying on the floor, cold and hurt. Yet this was still him. This was his past. This was one of the things he'd never let anyone see or hear of. Kevin was always shielding this. He let out another whimper as a swift blow was delivered to his stomach again.

My heart raced as I watched him get kicked again and again…then again… His voice eventually gave out on the whines of pain. The violence was too painful for him to even utter a sound anymore. Kevin just kept taking hit after hit after hit after hit… I couldn't leave him because I felt so left out and I wanted to help so badly that I could taste it, but I stopped myself from wishing I could help and dying to take him away from the chaos, but I was only watching. I was on the outside of the glass, looking in.

Not able to take watching Kevin's suffering any longer, I threw myself into a different memory, ready to run in fear from that as if I had been there beating him myself. The pain rubbed my heart raw.

I dropped into another moment of his life, this one more depressing. I watched him only maybe a year or two older. He was wearing another black shirt, the sleeves ripped off and armholes tattered beyond repair. His ebony hair was shorter cropped, looking like he was a kid again. Young again. Ten years old at least. Maybe even nine. He seemed so small and fragile, face bruised and scarred with red slashes across one cheek. "I told you so. I told you, but you didn't listen to me," he nearly growled. His tone sounded like the snarl of a jaguar. "I tried to tell you."

The room was lined with posters of muscle cars. I now knew how early his obsession with speed started. The walls were a shade of dark gray, stained with black spots. A black bed sat in the middle, the blankets on it black and gray, dark as was and is his personality. There was a grave vibe about the space. I knew this was where I had be only one memory earlier. Where he'd been practically mutilated…

His mother seemed older, her face more sunken in and skin white as snow. Her hair had the faintest streaks of gray in it, the black being lighter and more haunting than ever, too dark for her face. "Kevin, I didn't-"

"Save it. It's too late now." He sighed heavily. His lips curled up. "I told you…" The younger Kevin pressed another piece of clothing into a bag, focused on packing up the important things. "I told you so many times…"

"I didn't know!" His mother was starting into denial, that much I could see. She was being so… I couldn't explain it. She seemed furious at him and herself. "I never saw what happened, sweetheart, I-"

His body convulsed. "You don't even have a right to claim me as your son anymore." Kevin grabbed the bag and threw it over his shoulder. He knew what was about to go down. "Because you don't even know who I am anymore." Without another word, Kevin stalked out the door of his bedroom.

I turned and looked back at his mother who was violently sobbing. She'd just watched her son walk away, the only living memory of her husband, disappearing without another glance back. I could understand how she was feeling. In a way. She was losing everything in one night. And she'd had so many chances to get this right and to fix it, but the obvious had passed her by and she'd left him in the dust to be neglected further.

Kevin kept walking, going onward to nowhere. It was the end of it. He wasn't about to turn around. His bags were packed and he was headed someplace where no one could hurt him.

Until Ben came around at least.

This time the memory ended before I could jump. Kevin was gone into the night. I watched him vanish and the memory faded. Now I was stuck in a subway, him curled up on a couch nearby. It was trashed and he was asleep, his chest rising and falling. This had to be some kind of dream that he was having, but I stared at his small form, still sleeping. Still peaceful. I guess I couldn't see inside his head, but the dream could've been the memory. I watched his breathing for so long. I wanted to go over and stroke his hair and kiss his cheek and tell him everything would be fine. I knew how the future would be. I knew he'd be fine. He was a fighter and a strong one at that. Kevin was so innocent and peaceful in a time like this. I wished he could always be like that. Forever and always. I watched his form for a little bit longer before moving on.

He was standing up against Ben. He was standing there and staring at Ben. They were fighting. They were arguing. Ben was trying to save lives once again. Kevin was trying to con him into helping to destroy the train and take the cash from the passengers. They fought for a few moments. Only verbally. Then Kevin launched himself at Ben, his hand landing on the Omnitrix. From there, the blue sparks of electricity shot out of his hand and I knew what was going on. I knew what came next.

Warmth flamed off of Kevin wildly as his torso was transformed into Heatblast. One hand was still human, the other, a pyronite's. I didn't want to see it. It was only the first. It was only the first of his horrible mutations. And he was a monster yet again at the present time. He was a mess of rocks and stone and crystal.

He wasn't a monster underneath it. He had a heart. He was able to love. He was with me. That was enough to prove that his life had time yet to turn around. Kevin was gentle and kind and he cared about more than just himself now. Behind his dark obsidian eyes were the scars of pain from the past. Underneath his stony chest was a heart of gold. He had emotions and feelings and he did what he thought was best for her, for the team. There had been no trading of tech unless he needed something important from them. He was always putting an effort into making things work. It left me admiring him for more than just being the most incredible guy alive. I loved him so much more.

Then there was a blast of fire and Ben trying to hold off Kevin. I hated watching them square off now in a battle to the death. I hated it when they just fought. Those two meant the world to me. Both of them. I loved Kevin, but Ben was my cousin and I had to be nice to him most of the time. Even when his maturity level was through the floor. Kevin… He had his own special charm that I could never quite put my finger on. But I loved it.

There was a burst of flames. Fire exploded into the subway and this memory faded quickly, me jumping out of it because I couldn't stand to see them trying to kill each other anymore.

I felt my hair swish around my neck as I continued forth. He was a full mutation now. Four arms, two Wildmutt, one Diamondhead, one Heatblast. A glowing antennae. Blazing eyes. Crimson red skin. Jaws with teeth sharp as knives. Blue and black striped tail, the color of bruises. I couldn't stand him. I didn't want to see that monster again. I was scared of him back then. Now, he is the wall that I lean against. Now, he is the one that I call on for help. Now, he is my whole life.

My fears came to the worst when I watched Ben as Fourarms charge at him and the night sky soaked them in. Within minutes, the guy I now loved had been shaken off the bridge, fallen. He dropped into the ocean around the Golden Gate bridge and I stared, never truly realizing how cruel we had been to Kevin until now. Kevin had been tortured as a child. He had been punished by us for only being the person he was. He had been beaten and that had built him to be who he was. Now he was being hit and slaughtered by the creature that killed his father. The circle of life is no joke. It is true pain for people who thoroughly understand it. People like Kevin.

I was dropped into the next set of images to build a world around me. There was the Null Void. There was Vilgax. There was a face-off. Kevin was being slaughtered. His face was slashed, blood seeping out of deep wounds on his cheek. Or what was supposed to be his cheek. He was still a monster. Kevin skidded back a few feet, taking the blow and finding no harm done to him. He had adapted to pain easily. Now this was no problem for him.

Vilgax raced forward, his fist aimed to blow right through Kevin's skull. His tentacled face was twisted into a scowl as an ear-splitting screech of pure hatred rang out through the space of the Void.

Kevin used his XLR8 speed to outrace the pain that fist would rain down upon him. He whipped out a lashing tail at the crazed green alien.

They fought endlessly, me only watching it, giving no hope or opinion to this situation. Kevin was fighting back hard enough to give Vilgax the fight of his life, and yet Kevin was still trapped there with him, with his misery, with his suffering, with his losses.

I had to keep moving.

There was a cold, tortured scream. I watched. I had to. Slowly, melting away was his red skin. The glowing Ripjaws antenna was being sucked back into his pale fragile human skin. His eyes were flashing before returning to their obsidian color. The two Wildmutt arms were being drawn back into his torso while the Diamondhead and Heatblast limbs were shrinking before revealing scrawny flesh covered arms again. The pale color of Kevin's skin. I watched him transform back to normal. His tail just disappeared, his XLR8 legs and feet returning to the world of humanity once more.

This small boy, black hair, obsidian eyes, pale skin, a lock around his neck on a rusted dark chain. His head whipped up to stare up at the dimension of the Null Void where he was now a vulnerable target to anyone who wanted to come after him, whether for revenge or for a simple meal.

I heard him let out a victory screech this time, tiny tears trailing down his ashen cheeks. Then he rose to shaky feet before stumbling off into a distant cave, to hide from the creatures that he'd been slaughtering that could now kill him simply.

Black winds swept around me, carrying me onward to the next set of reminiscences. There was a cold silence and I knew I could feel the current in the air between me and Kevin. We had just captured him. Ben had transformed out of Swampfire's alien form. This time, I was watching myself. My hand was on Kevin's shoulder until I pulled away abruptly.

In that exact moment, I knew what I was feeling. I had felt a surge of power. There was a rush of chemistry between us. He was absolutely electrifying. It was us. Now I knew that. I knew I wanted him so that I could understand that feeling between us. I could see the surprise and amazement in my own eyes and I could feel those same emotions reflecting in my own gaze.

"I'll follow you anywhere." Those were the first words I heard in Kevin's voice when I was at the next scene. He was sitting in his car, Ben in the passenger seat. I was floating in front of them, using a laser lance to trace the Forever Knights hideout. His dark orbs were trained on my form ahead of the car. I knew that emotion hiding in his gaze. Love. It was rare, but when I saw it, I knew that was exactly what it was. When those words were uttered from his mouth, I could tell it was intended so that Ben couldn't hear. And he didn't or else I would've known. He would follow me anywhere.

His memory faded to black until I saw Kevin's dark eyes were staring right into me as he stared after the me in the memory while my arm was linked with Michael Morningstar's. I could feel his stare emanating pure hatred and disgust. I always knew he hated Darkstar, but I never knew to what extent. This was it. He wanted to see Darkstar dead for trying to steal me away from him. That was why Kevin was so defensive. I never knew that he felt so strongly about keeping me to himself. I wasn't just another girl, but I was strictly his and only his.

This guy absolutely loved me, but couldn't quite define the term of 'love' in his own mind. He didn't know what was pulling me to him or him to me, but he wanted me deep down in his heart and soul.

Just before a Highbreed had smashed through the wall of the garage. I wished it had come true, that moment. That was the one thing I had been wanting ever since I met Kevin now. We would've been together so long ago if that Highbreed hadn't smashed through the wall.

"I'm still on parole," he was muttering, eyes downcast. I wished he had looked up at me at that point so he could see the longing for this kiss. My green eyes were desperately clinging to his every word. The red velvet bag was in one of his strong hands while the other was wrapped around my small hand. I loved the feel of that. I loved it so much at that moment. And I wished I was inside my own body to relive this instead of on the outside looking in.

Then our lips lingered close together and he began to lean in and I knew what was about to come next.

Concrete and drywall came crashing down around us as that Highbreed smashed its way in. I wanted to know what would happen if these moments had been altered, if only slightly. If that Highbreed had waited only moments longer…

Ship was firing at us after I had dragged myself to the next one. I had loved that last one all too much. The way I could detect the longing that not only I was feeling, but the attraction Kevin was feeling for me.

"GWEN!" came Kevin's voice from one side of the room and I saw myself collapsed on the ground after my shields had taken too many hits. He had dropped down on the floor next to me and was holding me away from the line of fire. "Ben, shoot it!"

"No, Ben, don't!" Julie cried out, trying to stop her Swampfire altered boyfriend from firing a methane attack at her pet.

The project to enhance Ship with the big Galvanic firing machine thing that was all fancy-like. Of course, Kevin knew the full name of it. For me, it was Ship. For him, Galvanic something or other. I'd given up too fast on learning these things.

Kevin cradled my limp form's head as he called out to Ben again.

I liked when he held me close and tight against his chest. It made me feel like he was always going to be there, that I was invincible as long as he was around. Kevin was mine and I was his.

The walls caved in as the machine exploded into pieces and pieces around us. Rocks fell right through me, I was only watching, unaffected by what was going on around me.

There was swelling darkness and I watched myself and Ben trek over to where Kevin was buried under rock after seeing Goop and Chromastone and Spidermonkey disappear out of the garage and Ben revealed himself from a pile of cement and concrete. We began to pull rocks off of his limp, now mutated form. I watched my shocked expression. I was scared at that moment. I was scared that he had mutated back and would be a monster again, no longer mine. He would revert back to the crime and underworld. Kevin swatted the compact from my hand, the shattering mirror in it echoing through the space. He was a monster. It lasted all too long. He was covered in rock, stone, and crystal, so strong a defense, but building up a weak Kevin on the inside.

I couldn't stand looking at him in his shock and pain and panic, fear reaching out from him as if with tentacles and touching my own heart, for that he may remain forever like that. The fear was growing inside of me yet again as I watched.

Panic was tangible as I was carried into the next memory, this one more recent. Kevin was out of his car and racing across the lawn of his house. I had never seen it, but it was a small, dark one-story ranch style. The front door was non-existant, a gaping hole where it would've or should've been. He raced through, calling for his mother like a lost child in a large department store. He searched a back hallway before heading up into the main living room again and lifting up a bookcase off the floor, flipping it over, searching through the mess that I assumed Ragnarok had made of his house.

"Kevin?" came a soft voice.

Clearly it was his mother. I had heard her voice before now. I knew who she was and how she had tried to be so good to him and to sacrifice herself to make his life better, only making it much, much worse.

Relief flooded his eyes and he was up off the floor in a matter of moments, racing over to hug her.

This ended abruptly and I was stuck back in my room, this wave over with. There was probably more that I hadn't seen, but that was enough to explain to me what went through Kevin's head. He stood pain because he'd experienced so much of it as a child. He didn't trust anyone unless there was a damn good reason for it. Kevin's got reasoning in that brain of his, although he doesn't use it much. And he loves me. He loves me through jealousy and respect and admiration and compulsion and strength. He's there to protect me when I need him and he's there for me when I want him to be and he's the one that keeps me grounded and strong and I love him.

My badge started beeping on the table beside me. Kevin was trying to call me. I looked at it for a while before reaching over. "Hey," I replied after I'd clicked the symbol.

"Mr. Smoothy?" he offered sweetly. "My treat."

I felt my own relief flooding that this was the guy that I loved and he was taking me out for another night around for no reason at all. Maybe he wanted to talk about his dad or about Ragnarok or what really happened back on the ship, but I strongly doubted it. Just another night, just the two of us. "Yeah. See you in a few."

The connection ended on his end after I could hear him let out a breath and it was disconnected from my badge.

Kevin was… different.

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**A/N: After three/four days, it's done!! Please leave a review! Thanks for reading!**

**~Sky**


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